Part 105: Episode CI: Like a Kid

Episode CI: Like a Kid


Music: The Tower (Quiet)



Unfortunately, the networks all passed on “The Adventures Nines and Bullwinkle” pilot and 9S was forced to come slinking back to his YoRHa duties. He’s lucky everyone is busy with the invasion before the Commander took notice and sent out an E-series unit to gank him for desertion.



Getting back on track, we’ve got six hotspots scattered across the City Ruins region 9S needs to sort out ahead of 2B and the other combat oriented androids begin their all-out assault on the ruins of Tokyo for the glory of mankind.



The closest objective is atop the deceased Engels we hung out with a few times way back in Route A ages ago. All of our targeted communication jamming machines are located in high up locations, so to the top of Engels’ corpse we go. It’s worth noting there are eerily few machines roaming the City Ruins during this whole mission. And by “few” I mean outside of a couple pockets of docile Stubbies zoning out, the entire city is abandoned save for our objectives.



At the top of the dead Engels, we find a lone Enhanced Model Stubby with his back turned to the ladder. Key tactical blunder on its part.





9S has no trouble immediately hacking and disabling the machine. Remember, 21O said to hack them, not destroy them. As soon as we take out the first priority target machine, 9S’s Operator phones up to confirm the objective completion.



You’re totally treating me like a kid.
Now move onto the next one!
Fiiiine.



9S, you can’t get pissy about being treated like a child and then immediately turn around and do the huffy “fiiiiine” thing for the 53rd time. Between this and the Nines thing, I’m surprised more people haven’t treated you like a dipshit kid.



Anyway, the next target is atop a building a few hundred yards north of the broken overpass leading toward the Abandoned Factory. Up here we find an Enhanced Small Biped machine. This one has a tendency to be looking in the direction of one of the only easy ways onto the building from where we’re heading and going hostile on 9S the second it sees him. Which can result in...



Whoops!
<opens communications> Unit 9S, your orders are to hack in to enemy units, not destroy them. Destroyed units will simply be replaced. Attacking is pointless. Try to sneak up behind your foes, keep out of sight, and then... Booooom! Hack ‘em up good.
Um, okay...
<disconnects>
...”Boom?” Is she serious?



Deadly serious, 9S. Stop frikkin’ this up! Your Operator mom is trying to be supportive and you’re disappointing her severely right now, young man. Stop destroying the objectives. They just respawn as soon as you walk more than 20 feet away.



You have to hack ‘em! Hack-hack-hack! They’ll substitute another enemy soon, so try again.
Got it.



Despite what 21O implied about the need to sneak up on enemies like when we’re Subjugating/Remote Controlling ‘em, that’s not actually the case here. We only need to defeat the targeted enemies via hacking. It doesn’t matter if they’ve aggroed or not. Just as long as they are hacked and not depleted of their HP.



Almost there.



No you’re not, 9S. You’re only one-fourth of the way there. By any metric, that is nowhere near “almost” mission completion, dummy. Anyway, our next objective is an Enhanced Medium Biped occupying Father Servo’s former rooftop dojo. RIP.



This machine is a massive dumbass and almost always immediately stomps towards 9S only to fall off the roof and not remotely possess the locomotive skills to climb up to where 9S is actually standing. As such, it’s easily dealt with while it flails futilely in impotent rage at the dreaded Hackerman.



Every Scanner in the force is involved in this operation. So let’s try not to fall behind.
Yeah, yeah. No falling behind. Got it.
9S?
What is it?
Make sure to do whatever is necessary to avoid combat.
And how will I provide support to the squad if I don’t fight?
Scanner units such as yourself are not designed for battle.
Aw, are you worried about me?
No. I’m merely pointing out that you would be a liability on the battlefield. <disconnects>
Wow, that’s... harsh.





Poor 9S. Even dunked on by his Operator Mom the one time she’s kind of being nice. Anyway, that’s it for the targets on the western half of the City Ruins. We now focus our attention to the eastern half of the region. Our next objective is over on the ruined overpass next to the entrance to the Amusement Park zone.



This time our target is one of those screaming suicide bomber machines. 9S needs to hack this clown quickly, lest that “boom” comment from 21O comes back to haunt him. As soon as the Serious Sambot is disabled, we get a call from not 21O but another one of the Scanner models out performing an invasion preemptive operation too.



9S here. Go ahead.
I’m just about wrapped up here. How about you?
Um, just one left, I think.
Roger. Be sure to head back to the Bunker when you’re done so you can sync your data.
Oh, right. I forgot about that.
Until your combat data is uploaded, none of the Scanner models can run updates.
Okay. I’ll take care of it as soon as I’m done here.
Appreciated. <disconnects>


New Music: The Tower (Vocal)



9S, you’ve got two more objectives to complete. Why did you lie to that other Scanner about your lacking performance? And that’s really irresponsible not to be syncing you or 2B’s data up since you poked around on the YoRHa server a few chapters back. Between that and all the trashed flight units, your performance review for this quarter is going to be abysmal.



In other news, our next targeted machine is an Enhanced Medium Flyer found patrolling the derelict utility tower near the canyon. It’s easily taken care of...



Proposal: Unit 9S should rendezvous with unit 2B before the combat situation worsens.
Sounds like a plan. Lemme just mark the point on the map. Aaaand... there.



Our objective has indeed updated to a new location and the final hotspot for clearing out the air defense machines has been lifted. Granted, we were only tasked with reducing their efficiency, not eliminating it. However, that 23% operational level is gonna bug me. So let’s finish the original mission first.



The final air defense system machine is located across the canyon near the shopping mall ruins. There just so happens to be a small pack of neutral Stubbies sunbathing on this side of the bridge.







9S can commandeer one of their bodies to trot across the rickety bridge and stealthily hack the final air defense target, a normal ass Goliath Biped guarding the entrance to the mall. We get a special message from 21O for having been diligent with our job.



I-I always do...
That really was brilliant work, which means I’ve got a special surprise for you. I’ll leave it in my room so you can pick it up later. <disconnects>
...A surprise?





See 9S? Aren’t you glad you didn’t half-ass your job? Now you get a special bonus from 21O. Hopefully it won’t be a stack of after action paperwork involving the destruction of a perfectly good Flight Unit by ramming it into an already heavily damaged enemy the other day...





Our final goal for this 9S segment is to link up with 2B at the designated marker, which is just atop the wrecked path leading toward the Abandoned Factory.



Tune in next time as the final battle between YoRHa and the machines begins. A decisive victory for the glory of mankind awaits! Right...?






Video: Episode 101 Highlight Reel (Worth watching.)





Operator Concept Art – Those hats are too tiny. 6O would drop hers constantly squealing about pictures of baby giraffes and bunnies.